28 November 2012

Good homes wanted

It’s “sort-out” time at Oldhaven House – that’s where I rest my weary head at night. I’m reluctant to call it “chuck out” time because I’m loath to throw away these items. But it’s okay, I’m not discarding my collections – just duplicates. So then, here’s the deal: if anyone wants the following items (or just one of the following) for free (excluding p&p) please email me at peter [at] coleborn [.] co [.] uk. All you’ll have to provide is your address and the requisite postage via PayPal (minimum of £1.00). Despite my assertion above, if no one wants these publications then (sorry to say) it’s the recycling bin. There are multiple copies of some of the following.

A Dick and Jane Primer for Adults edited by Lavie Tidhar (2008)
A Celebration edited by Paul Kane & Marie O’Regan (BFS Book 2006)+
Annabelle Says by Simon Clark & Stephen Laws (signed, BFS Booklet 1995)
Best of Prism (1997)
BFS Journal (Winter 2010)+
BFS Journal (Winter 2011/2012)*+
BFS Journal (Autumn 2012)*+
BFS Newsletter (July/August 1995)
Clive Barker: Mythmaker for the Millennium by Suzanne Barbieri (BFS Booklet 1994)
Dark Horizons 37 (1998)*
Dark Horizons 38 (1999)*
Dark Horizons 50 (2007)*
Dark Horizons 51 (2007)*
Dark Horizons 52 (2008)*
FantasyCon Reporter (FantasyCon PR, 1996)*
FantasyCon Reporter (FantasyCon PR2, 1996)
FantasyCon XVII Souvenir Book (1992)
FantasyCon XXII Souvenir Book (1998)
FantasyCon Souvenir Book (2000)
FantasyCon Souvenir Book (2009)
FantasyCon XXIX Souvenir Book (2005)
FantasyCon Souvenir Book (2006)
FantasyCon Souvenir Book (2007)*
FantasyCon Souvenir Book (2008)
FantasyCon Souvenir Book (2009)*
FantasyCon: The Green Man Banquet – original poem by Robert Holdstock (2009)*
FantasyCon Souvenir Book (2010)
F20 issue 1 (2000)
Holt! Who Goes There? by Tom Holt (BFS Booklet 1998)
Long Memories by Peter Cannon (BFS Booklet 1997)*
Miscellany Macabre by Ken Cowley (BLS Booklet 1999)
New Horizons 1 (2008)
New Horizons 2 (2008)
New Horizons 3 (2008)
Outsiders by John Oram (BFS Booklet 1996)
Prism volume 25 number 2 (2001)
Prism (summer 2009)
Prism (March 2010)
Prism (June 2010)
Shocks by Ronald Chetwynd-Hayes (signed; BFS Booklet 1997)
Silver Rhapsody (BFS Booklet 1996)*
Spiral Garden by Louise Cooper (BFS Booklet 2000)*+
Stirring Within by Russell Flinn (BFS Booklet 1990)
Through the Walls by Ramsey Campbell (signed; BFS Booklet 1981)

At least two of the above have been listed by dealers at around £15 each – so here’s a chance to grab a collector’s item. Titles marked + are quite hefty; and I’m involved, in one way or another, with those marked *

I also have a number of Interzone and Locus magazines that are surplus to requirements (same deal – just provide the postage fee):

Interzone issues 227, 228, 229, 230, 231,233, 234,235, 236

Locus issues 550, 562, 567, 569, 574, 604, 606, 607

16 November 2012

There is fantasy and there is bollocks

As you may have gathered, I read fantasy, stories about things that – in the main – just aren’t real. However, even my imagination has its limits. I received the following email today. Originally it was all in upper case characters, which I hate; so I have changed it to sentence case. Otherwise I've altered nothing. Here goes:

“Federal Bureau of Investigation
Intelligence Field Unit
J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington , D.C.

Urgent attention: beneficiary

I am Special Agent John Edward from the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Intelligence Unit, we have just intercepted and confiscated two (2) trunk boxes at JFK Airport in New York, and are on the verge of moving it to our bureau headquarter.

We have scanned the said boxes, and have found it to contain a total sum of $4.1 million and also backup documents which bears your name as the receiver of the money contained in the boxes, investigations carried out on the diplomat which accompanied the boxes into the United States has it that he was to deliver this funds to your residence as payment which was due you from unpaid contract, inheritance, lotto, loan, e.t.c

We cross-checked all legal documentation in the boxes, and were about to release the consignment to the diplomat,when we found out that the boxes is lacking two very important documentation which as a result, the boxes has been confiscated and reminded under our security vault

According to section 229 subsection 31 of the 1991 constitution in tax payment, your consignment lacks proof of ownership certificate and legal delivery permit clearance certificate from the joint team of the IRS and Homeland Security, and there for, you must contact us for direction on how to procure the two certificate, so that you can be relieved of the charges of evading tax which is a punishable offense under section 12 subsection 441 of constitution on tax evasion.

You are therefore required to get back to me on this email {agent.john_e0001@superposta.com} within 72hours, so that I will guide you on how to get the needed document. Failure to comply with our directive may lead you into problem, you will be arrested, interrogated and prosecuted in the court of law for money laundering.

We may also get the financial action task force on money laundering (FATF) involved if you do not follow our instructions. You are also advised not to get in contact with any bank in Africa, Europe or any other institution, as your fund are here now in the United States of America and can be delivered to any country of your choice once you secure those required documents.

Yours in service

Agent John Edward
Regional Director
Federal Bureau of Investigation

If you wish to pretend you are me (or in fact anyone since the email was apparently sent to many addressees) and contact John Edward, please go ahead. You never know, this might not be a fantasy.

Here is another email that came my way today. Do I have mug tattooed on my forehead? It amazes me that these people send out all-but illiterate emails and expect a response. But then, I guess they do receive replies otherwise they wouldn’t bother. I have not altered anything:


UTL, premium quality materials commerce company, is currently searching for administrative support/sales support employees in the UK.As for the work you.ll have to manage certain daily or weekly tasks and projects pertaining to the sales support in the USOptional Working Conditions: UTL offers unique working conditions and significant bonuses for seekers who had/have experience of running their own business.Your duties will include:- Provide assistance to the Sales Dept.- Process data and manage reports- Manage correspondence,
process purchase orders etc.    Working Schedule: Full-time8 hours a day or
Part-time3 hours per day working hours available. Your timetable is up to you.
    Remuneration: For both part-time and full-time positions we provide fixed salary $450/week . part-time and $850/week full-time + you earn 5% commission
successful contract    Location: This is a work at home/virtual office
position. All correspondence is managed online.    We require: To get started
you must have a PC or Laptop with pre-installed Microsoft Office software and Internet Connection. In case if you have a previous working experience in similar to managing/customer support field then it will be your advantage over
other applicants.     Further Hiring Process: If this job seem to be
interesting for you, please send us your actual CV. In case if your resume will be approved we.ll contact you within 2 days and offer to go through a paid trial period. . By the end of the training period, the supervisor can recommend further employment, extension of trial period, or termination. In case if you have any questions about the job, please do not hesitate to ask:

Thank you,UTL Team